Why do I even HAVE a blog? I'm not famous or anything...

It has occurred to me lately that I have a lot of opinions... and a rather limited vocabulary. Not that I don't know a lot of words - I do, but I don't use them. I have a few favourites which are on repeat, I often 'dumb down' what I want to say in order to not sound stuck up or wanky... or sometimes, I don't say 'fuck' as often as I'd like to avoid offence. I love to read. A lot. I get particular enjoyment from ingesting other people's words that I considered the fact that I should perhaps take some time to get out my own words. I don't particularly think that anyone would be interested in me or what I have to say, it's more of a much needed therapy and a bit of an exercise in getting to know myself a little better.

Me. About me. I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife, a colleague. Each of those things is a part of what determines the way I live my life. What I do with my days, how I think, where I go and who I speak with when I get there. I like to laugh, to eat, to walk, to watch. I like to make others smile. I like nice smells and sounds. I love music. I don't just love music, I need music. I often wish I were a musician. I dream that I had a sense of tone and rhythm. To be able to sing, or play an instrument and make music of my very own. But I don't. Music is the soundtrack to all of my memories. Each memory I conjure out of the furthest banks of my mind has a backing track appropriate to the period of time that memory was created. My days are filled with an eclectic mix-tape which plays non-stop inside my head. I love to sing along with my favourite songs. Badly. I wish so much that I had a beautiful singing voice and at times in the car with the stereo up loud enough I pretend that I do. I would love so much for my children to be able to look back on me as a mother and remember me singing soothing lullabies or uplifting songs to them. Rather, I think they will look back with one eye squinting and an expression not unlike that you make when experiencing a particularly nasty smell and say "Mum loved to sing, but we always wished she wouldn't".