Being Mama

One of the many things I am, which I have been for more than half my life, is Mum.  I am beyond proud to have this title to Daniel and Casey.  There are not a great amount of things in my life I can truly say I am proud of, but they are one, well... two.

My kids.  My babies (ok, so they are adults now, but that's just to the rest of the world.  To me, they are my babies).  A son and a daughter.  The two people I love the most in this world and who I would literally do anything for.  I am filled with wonder that two humans have so many characteristics and personality traits from each of their genetic backgrounds.  They are individuals with their own unique thoughts, feelings and personalities... yet those traits sneak in and define how those thoughts, feelings and personalities develop.  Offspring are a constant source of education in science.  Nature vs Nurture.  Genetics.  I am well chuffed to have created these two people.  To have been any part of who they now are and their place in this world.  They are caring, funny, intelligent creatures.  They acknowledge their imperfections.  They love and are loved.  They are so different from one another that I used to watch in awe that they both came from my body and were both raised in the same way by the same mother. 

Before I had children, I so wrongly assumed that being a parent meant taking a little person under your wing and teaching them about the world.  They have taught me so much more than I could have imagined possible.  About the world, myself and others.

I love to watch them interact in a way that only siblings can.  To express their opinions and frustrations to and at one another, yell, scream, stomp and declare war... then jump in defense of one another at the slightest hint of a criticism from anyone else.  Their own little 'in jokes' which make no sense to anyone but us.  I feel pure joy when I am fortunate enough to encounter the friends they have made and chosen to be in their lives, to see others care for them and appreciate the traits I love and admire in them.  I feel a secret pride when they each try to make me say "You're my favourite".  Who wouldn't love to be fought over?

I consider them both my friends.  Not in an attempt to be the 'Cool Mum', but in a genuine way that I enjoy their company and conversations with them.  I would choose to spend my time with either or both of them.  Not out of any kind of obligation, but out of desire.  Their company makes me feel content and happy, their hugs are soothing for my body and soul. 

We have been through a lot over the years, together and as individuals.  I don't claim to have been the best parent, but I've been the best one I could manage to be.  When people say you get no instruction manual when you have kids, I don't think you really listen - even now, with so much information at your fingertips I don't think you'll ever feel as incompetent as you do when you are holding your own screaming child with no clue as to how to make it stop.  To see hurt in your child's eyes and not know the right thing to say to help them feel better.

One day they won't have me around anymore.  I wish for this to be in the very distant future.  The thought of not being their Mum anymore is sad beyond words.  I'd like to think that when the time comes, they will be ready for the shift in our family dynamic.  That we will have thousands more memories and stories about times when Mum was a total loser that they can laugh about.  I know they will be ok - my ego isn't that big.  I also take comfort in knowing how caring and supportive they have been for me when I've needed it.  Another parenting surprise.  You expect to be the one giving your children support, comfort and solace.  I don't think anybody prepares you for getting the same in return - tenfold.  I'm pretty sure if I get the chance to haunt them, it will be with music.  They'll know I'm still around them.  Always.

Get outta my SPACE!

For as long as I can remember, I've bucked against people getting in my face like a drunk Texan in a bar on one of those mechanical bulls.  (Whose idea was it to put those things in bars anyway? Pure genius.  I bet less people get hurt because they're too drunk to tense up when they fall) 

Nothing has changed.  Right now, for example, I completely respect anyone's choice to worship any God and abide by any religion - I am talking religion here, not crazy extremist groups.  I think it's wonderful if people can afford to do so, help out charities.  I'm sure the new coffee shop / chiropractor / juice bar / gym is just fabulous.  Passionate about politics?  That's great. 

However. 

While I am walking down the street on my way to work / the train station / home / the shop do NOT, I repeat, do NOT attempt to walk in front of me, hold out your hand for the 'I will engage this sucker' handshake and ask me if I've found Jesus / want to try a new coffee place / have a bad back / want to donate / want to join the gym.  Nor do I want your insulation, roller shutters, raffle tickets, performing monkey, miracle glad wrap-slimming device / $3000 multi purpose kitchen knife/scales/throwing stars. 

My personal religious beliefs (or lack thereof) are not the subject here.  It's the principal of the thing.  I work in the city.  I have a limited amount of time to get from point a to point b.  Same as on the weekends or evenings if I have forgotten something at the supermarket and absolutely cannot avoid going in.  NO, I don't want to sign my child up for a cute dress-up photo shoot.  He is 25 years old and quite possibly would love to, but nobody needs to see those photos. 

This is the information age, is it not?  If I want to find out about your wonderful product, I will.  God only knows, it will fly around Facebook in no time. 

Oh, wait, is that only for the shite that doesn't exist, like the Listerine foot soak?  By the way, if you're reading this and you have shared that damned foot soak post, I KNOW you didn't try it before you shared it because the total contents of that recipe equals one cup of liquid.  Unless you are Barbie herself, you ain't soaking no dry, cracked feet in one cup of liquid.  That dry skin ain't falling off, honey.

I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to advertise your cause freely... but if you can see I'm trying to walk by, don't force yourself on me.  You know I saw you.  We both know I saw your t-shirt, hat and flyers.  We both also know very well that once I saw all of the above, I immediately changed my path to avoid you.  Do you REALLY think the best plan of action is to jump out in front of me, beaming with that extended hand?  If you do, I'll straighten things out for you right now.  You're WRONG.  You may think you're quirky or hilarious with the way you jump out in front of pedestrians, beaming.  You're not.  We see at least twenty of you a day and frankly, the novelty factor wore off after my third pants wetting - before I knew what was going on and was certain I was being mugged by Hi 5.

I don't mean to offend anyone who has taken time out of their day to voluntarily collect much needed cash for a charity they're passionate about.  To be honest, this most likely doesn't apply to you.  The volunteers collecting for the one day of the year charities never seem to jump in your face like the ones who're paid a commission for everyone they get to commit to a monthly payment.  They stand respectfully and probably get a lot more donations.

Thanks, have a great day.