For as long as I can remember, I've bucked against people getting in my face like a drunk Texan in a bar on one of those mechanical bulls. (Whose idea was it to put those things in bars anyway? Pure genius. I bet less people get hurt because they're too drunk to tense up when they fall)
Nothing has changed. Right now, for example, I completely respect anyone's choice to worship any God and abide by any religion - I am talking religion here, not crazy extremist groups. I think it's wonderful if people can afford to do so, help out charities. I'm sure the new coffee shop / chiropractor / juice bar / gym is just fabulous. Passionate about politics? That's great.
However.
While I am walking down the street on my way to work / the train station / home / the shop do NOT, I repeat, do NOT attempt to walk in front of me, hold out your hand for the 'I will engage this sucker' handshake and ask me if I've found Jesus / want to try a new coffee place / have a bad back / want to donate / want to join the gym. Nor do I want your insulation, roller shutters, raffle tickets, performing monkey, miracle glad wrap-slimming device / $3000 multi purpose kitchen knife/scales/throwing stars.
My personal religious beliefs (or lack thereof) are not the subject here. It's the principal of the thing. I work in the city. I have a limited amount of time to get from point a to point b. Same as on the weekends or evenings if I have forgotten something at the supermarket and absolutely cannot avoid going in. NO, I don't want to sign my child up for a cute dress-up photo shoot. He is 25 years old and quite possibly would love to, but nobody needs to see those photos.
This is the information age, is it not? If I want to find out about your wonderful product, I will. God only knows, it will fly around Facebook in no time.
Oh, wait, is that only for the shite that doesn't exist, like the Listerine foot soak? By the way, if you're reading this and you have shared that damned foot soak post, I KNOW you didn't try it before you shared it because the total contents of that recipe equals one cup of liquid. Unless you are Barbie herself, you ain't soaking no dry, cracked feet in one cup of liquid. That dry skin ain't falling off, honey.
I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to advertise your cause freely... but if you can see I'm trying to walk by, don't force yourself on me. You know I saw you. We both know I saw your t-shirt, hat and flyers. We both also know very well that once I saw all of the above, I immediately changed my path to avoid you. Do you REALLY think the best plan of action is to jump out in front of me, beaming with that extended hand? If you do, I'll straighten things out for you right now. You're WRONG. You may think you're quirky or hilarious with the way you jump out in front of pedestrians, beaming. You're not. We see at least twenty of you a day and frankly, the novelty factor wore off after my third pants wetting - before I knew what was going on and was certain I was being mugged by Hi 5.
I don't mean to offend anyone who has taken time out of their day to voluntarily collect much needed cash for a charity they're passionate about. To be honest, this most likely doesn't apply to you. The volunteers collecting for the one day of the year charities never seem to jump in your face like the ones who're paid a commission for everyone they get to commit to a monthly payment. They stand respectfully and probably get a lot more donations.
Thanks, have a great day.
No comments:
Post a Comment