Dancing with Yourself

Some things are still taboo to discuss with others - and I appreciate that.  Certain topics are perhaps more comfortable kept between close friends, family members and discussed appropriately at home.  Certain things we do are considered bad, dirty or we just don't want to admit we do them because they're just rather unpleasant but necessary.  Other things, we're conditioned to believe are 'bad'. 

Masturbation.  I'm quietly confident that most people have tried it in some way, shape or form.  Why is it still something that we, and particularly young people are made to feel ashamed of?  When you are a rampant pile of hormones, pimples, new hair in weird places, sweat and confusion shouldn't there be some pleasure?  Is it just me, or isn't it perfectly natural?  It's your own body and shouldn't feel free to explore it as you please?  Not on the bus, mind, that's just a bit far, but in private.  It's generally accepted that boys will start to spend considerable amounts of alone time, but what about the girls?  Nobody mentions that, so if a young girl wants to do some experimenting alone, does she feel like there's something wrong with her?  Moreso than she already did with regular teen angst?  Does she feel like some kind of a weirdo perve?  Probably. 

For many young people, puberty is the lead up to new relationships.  Possibly romantic, possibly sexual.  These relationships are terrifying, exciting, unknown and wrought with expectation.  We're jumping into them, sometimes with no example of how a 'happy' relationship works.  What a healthy couple looks like.  We've had many different examples of interracting with family and peers - but this is a game changer.  All things going well, you may begin to want to give and receive physical pleasure.  We tend to know what goes where and the general basics... but here's where I think we're setting ourselves and our kids up for failure.  If you don't know what pleases you or what doesn't, how is someone else supposed to guess?  How much extra pressure and stress are we putting on what is already a major event in our lives to navigate?  How much easier would those early fumblings be if you at least have a clue about what your physical preferences are - and if you could tell your partner what they are? 

Just in case you actually need convincing:

1. Masturbation helps you sleep.  It lowers your blood pressure and produces endorphins which ease stress and increase relaxation.

2. Masturbation prevents prostate cancer.  Best news you've heard all day, gents?  It flushes toxins from the urogenital tract.  True story.  You're welcome.

3. Masturbation alleviates urinary tract infections.  Similar to above - it flushes out old bacteria from the cervix.

4. Masturbation boosts your immunity. Ejaculation releases the hormone cortisol. It’s a stress hormone, but it can help strengthen and maintain your immune system.

5. Masturbation makes sex better. Practice makes perfect. Sex therapists strongly recommend that women who have not had an orgasm begin by pleasuring themselves.