Chuckin' a Tanty

As a child, when people would ask that fateful, annoying question that adults love to pose to small creatures "what do you want to be when you grow up?", the only answer which ever came to mind was "a grown up, of course.  What else?".  Well, something very much like that, anyway.  I wanted to make my own decisions about where I went, what I did, ate, drank and who I chose to spend my time with.  I desperately wanted to drive myself around.  IN.  MY.  OWN.  CAR.  And it would be a cool car too.  Not a stupid practical car like my own mother drove.  How embarrassing.  I would have a pink convertible, preferably one which sparkled.  I anticipated the ever so mature freedom of choosing my own bedtime - a responsibility which I am clearly not cut out for, by the way.  I absolutely would not spend my time doing boring things like cleaning the house, grocery shopping or gardening.  Hell no, not this rebellious little black duck.  My life was going to be the complete opposite of the suburban bore that my parents had chosen.  I was baffled that with all the freedom of having nobody tell you what to do, parents continued to make such mundane choices.

I would live on a farm, preferably, with approximately 47 pets of different sizes and styles, staff to do my cooking and cleaning, obviously a gardener and I'd quite desperately need someone to clean the pool (which would have a slide from the third level balcony so I wouldn't have to trudge down any stairs like a pleb when I wanted to swim).  Of course, the fact that I couldn't sing wasn't going to hold me back from being a world famous rock star (turns out, that hasn't stopped many people, it just hasn't happened for me yet).  I could have ice-cream for breakfast and read in bed as late as I wanted without having to hide my book under the covers and use a torch.

Fast forward a few decades and here I am.  Things haven't quite turned out according to my carefully laid out plan.  Now can I throw myself on the ground, arms and legs thrashing and scream until someone gives me a Freddo Frog.

Can't I just have that childhood freedom back for a teensy little while?  Puhhhleeeeaaaasseeeee???????